Forever more
by frostingpeetaswounds
Summary: After the war, what really happened to the Mockingjay.
1. Chapter 1 Part 1 Katniss

It's been almost six months since I've returned home from the war and things in District 12 are still dreary. Plutarch formed a cleanup crew to fix all that was destroyed in the districts and to fix up homes of the poor. Plutarch asked me if I wanted the crew to clean up my old home since I had been staying in the Victors Village, but I told him not too because I would never stay there, too many memories. I haven't spoken to my mother in about a year and I don't really care because in a way I resent her, for leaving me alone and blaming me for Gale's mistakes. I always see Haymitch, whenever Peeta isn't around; I try my best to avoid him. But every now and then I'll pass the bakery on my way to the woods and see him through the window, rolling the dough and decorating the cakes. It wasn't until today when he actually noticed me spying on him; his gaze caught mine until I broke it and ran off into the woods. A part of me misses Peeta, especially at night when I wake up shaking and sweating from the nightmares, but he needs someone in his life that deserves him. I never deserved him.

"Hey," a voice from behind me breaks me of my thoughts and I turn around and see him. "Oh hi," my voice was a bit shaky and he gave me a strange look, I had reacted like he was a complete stranger. "I don't know who you think you are just barging into my house." My voice sounds agitated, but I wasn't, I just wanted him to leave so I wouldn't feel the urge to kiss him or tell him how I feel. "I'm sorry I jus- I just wanted to come see how you were, I mean we haven't talked in a while and we live right next to each other." It sounds like he wanted to say more, but he just looked at my trying to find my gaze. My eyes fell to the ground and I fiddled with my fingers, "Yeah well, I was just doing what was best." My voice cracked again, I felt like I was going to cry because my chest hurt and it was getting harder to breathe. "Katniss?" Peeta's voice echoed my name as the room began to spin; my hand caught the table before I hit the ground and everything turned black. I saw Prim. She was playing in the garden that Peeta had planted. Her pretty little face was so radiant that a smile on my own face started to form. "Come here Katiss," Prim said with a giggle as her hand reached out for mine and of course I held it. We skipped through the Primroses and it seemed like an illusion because my house had disappeared and it was just me, the flowers, and Prim. Clouds began to hover above us, dark clouds and it began to rain blood. My eyes were caught by the sky and the blood dripped down on me. "Prim what is happe-," and before I could finish the sentence I felt no hand in mind. Prim had disappeared, all the flowers had died and the blood stopped raining down. When the dark clouds drifted away it was just me and the dead flowers, "PRIM!" I screamed, I could hear her voice calling my name, but I didn't know in which direction to turn. The ground underneath my feet began to rumble and I realized she was somewhere under the dirt. I began to dig through the dead flowers with my hands until my fingernails began to bleed. "PRIM, WHERE ARE YOU?" I continued screaming until a giant light filled my sight.

I opened my eyes and without hesitation I jumped out of bed. It took me a few moments to realize that it was just a nightmare and that I was in my own house. Finally, making myself alert, I heard voices downstairs. I heard voices that I knew too well. Peeta and Haymitch. Why were they in my house, do they not know of privacy or a doorbell? When I make it down to the kitchen Peeta is cooking something that smells wonderful, but I don't show my desire for any of his food. "What are you doing here?" I say in an angry voice, trying to show them that they are not welcome into my house whenever they please. "Calm down sweetheart, the boys just making us some food, something you've forgotten about in the past 6 months." I loosen my hard, angry expression at the thought of Haymitch's comment. Maybe he's right, I haven't been treating myself very well and oddly enough I've hardly been eating. Before the games, all I ever wanted was a meal, the old me would have hated the new me. I sit myself next to Haymitch at the table and rub my hand down my boney leg, I haven't shaved either, I think to myself. I look toward the glass fridge and see my reflection; I gasp quietly and put my hand to my mouth. I look worse than I did before the games when there was hardly any food to salvage. My eyes had dark circles under them and my hair was disgusting like I had left it in a braid for 5 years and never touched it. I looked down at my trembling hands and saw that each of my fingers were bandaged. "What's wrong with my hands?" I asked, looking up at Peeta with a blank expression. "Uh, you bit them so much that you were bleeding." I don't even respond to his answer because all I can think about is the pain in my stomach. I have never felt this hungry.

"Eat this, Katniss." Peeta slides a plate of steak in my face, which is hard to find in District 12 unless purchased from the Capitol. I ignore the plate because I'm still upset with the fact that they are in my house without asking permission. "Come on Katniss, please." He places his hand on my face and I look up, catching his eyes. "I'll cut it for you," he says as he grabs the knife and begins to slice the steak into small pieces. I don't really like when people do things for me, but my hands hurt so bad that I let him. "Thanks," I say softly. I watch his rough baker hands; cut the steak ever so gently. I miss his hands, his arms, and even his eyes that I've been trying to avoid, but when they caught mine, it was hard to look away.


	2. Chapter 1 Part 2 Peeta

**Chapter 1 (Part 2) Peeta's POV**

It only took a few minutes for Katniss to eat her steak, which was surprising considering her body had become stick-like. I thought she would have eaten slower. Just as I expected Katniss left the little piece of steak there was left and covered her mouth, running to the bathroom down the hall. I shot a look of concern to Haymitch and he gave out a slight chuckle, taking another bite into his steak. It kind of pissed me off that it made him laugh, but I didn't argue it with him and I ran to the bathroom. I knocked on the door and could hear that she was throwing up. "Katniss, are you okay in there?" I said giving a little knock. "Yeah," even though it was a simple response, I could hear the pain in her voice. The pain wasn't from throwing up, it was the reason behind the throwing up, and the reason she couldn't eat. I opened the door and saw her lying on the ground; even though her body was frail and broken she was still beautiful in my eyes, although it did pain me to see her doing this to herself. I leaned down and moved the hair out of her face. She just looked up at me. She didn't get up to walk away or even yell at me for intruding, it was like she wanted me there. For the first time, she wanted me. She reached up to me with her weak arms, like a child would to their parents. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her up to her room. I cleaned the remaining vomit off her face and when she asked me to change her into a new pair of clothes, I didn't object. While I was changing her I could see all the scars from the arena, all the scars I wanted to kiss, to make the pain go away. But I knew no amount of medicine or kisses could take away the mental and emotional pain these scars left her with.

Sleep started to drag her under, I could tell because she was trying to force her eyes open, but they kept closing. "Thank you, for taking care of me." She whispered while the moonlight glistened through the window, lighting up her angelic face. My eyes were so mesmerized by the fire still burning in hers that I got distracted and before I could say you're welcome, she went on. "Haymitch, he was right when he said I don't deserve you," a crack in her voice let me know that she was holding back tears. I wanted her to cry. Not in a mean way, I hate seeing her upset. If she cried she could let out all the pain she has endured because this whole time I've known Katniss, I've never seen her cry. No wonder why she hasn't been taking care of herself, the pain of everything has been eating at her. A single tear rolled down her cheek, "Katniss, you've done so much for Panem, the people of district 12, and me. You deserve everything the world can possibly give you. Including me. You have to understand that I would never let anyone else have me except you." When I'm done speaking I can feel her fingers slip between mine and when I look down, everything I'm feeling is true, she's holding my hand. A slight tingle rushes through my chest and I want to smile, but I keep my emotions contained for her sake. I look down at my fingers, intertwined with hers and when I look back at her, she's caught my gaze again. That beautiful fire still burning in her grey eyes, the same captivating seam eyes her father had when he came into the bakery singing. She gave me the same look she always did when I would spend nights with her on the train before the Quarter Quell, the look that says, stay with me. So I do. I get into bed with her and my arms lock around her pale, scarred, but radiant body. She lays her head on my chest and when I look down at her face, there's a smile painted across from cheek to cheek, she's listening to my heart beat.

When we woke up the next morning, everything seemed different. I mean, she was still the same old broken, quiet, sick Katniss. The only difference was that she let me take care of her and she wasn't rejecting any of my meals. A couple weeks went by until Katniss could actually eat normal again without having to throw up, and her face was even looking a little chubbier. At night Katniss wouldn't sleep unless I tucked her in and told her how my day was at the bakery, even if I was having a bad day, I always told her it was good. I never wanted to worry her because she was already going through enough. Katniss seemed to be getting happier, or so Haymitch thought. Sometimes when I brought her cookies she would smile, but I knew it was just her way of saying thank you, she wasn't actually happy. The sun had set already when I knocked on her door, to do the routine we always did. I bring her cookies, tell her stories about my family and when I was a child, tell her about the bakery, and then tuck her in. But today was different. I knocked again. "Katniss." I yelled up to her window, throwing a small rock light enough to not crack it. At this point my heart was racing and I was getting worried, so I did the only thing I could think of, I broke the fence lock which led to her backyard and got through the back door. She always left it unlocked and slightly open incase Buttercup wanted to play outside. I took a few steps into the kitchen when I heard footsteps and a bang upstairs, it sounded like Katniss' fragile body hit the ground. I immediately jolted up the stairs, calling her name, praying that she didn't do something stupid like drug herself to death. I swung open her bedroom door and called her name again, I could hear her breathing heavily in the bathroom. "Peeta," Her voice hadn't sounded that weak since she collapsed from being malnourished. When I went into the bathroom my heart stopped. I got the same feeling I did the day Katniss came back with my medicine in the arena, when her head was bleeding. But this feeling was worse, and there was way more blood.


	3. Chapter 2 Part 1 Katniss

**Chapter 2 (Part 1) Katniss' POV**

My vision was blurry, but I could hear Peeta calling my name so with the energy I had left, I called his name back. When Peeta rushed into the bathroom I could see him standing above me, although I couldn't decipher the expression on his face. I felt so lightheaded. It was like there was a sea inside me, filled with everything I am, pouring out and leaving me completely empty. At first the pain was severe, but after a few seconds everything went numb and I fell to the ground, or so I thought. I guess that's when Peeta heard me. A part of me wondered why he was in my house again, but then my mind wandered to the thought of what had just occurred. It feels like hours have passed, but it's only been a minute. Peeta runs to the phone by my bed side and calls for immediate assistance to the Mockingjay. Immediate assistance to the Mockingjay meant that all the best doctors, surgeons, and medics in the area drop whatever they are doing and come to my rescue. It seems like a very self-centered act, but it was Plutarch's idea. Plutarch approached the citizens of Panem with the law and since I was the face of the rebellion, everyone agreed and celebrated when it was passed. I wish they added Peeta's name to that law, I don't know what I would do if what has happened to me, happened to him. The Mockingjay can't make an immediate assistance call for someone else, only herself. I'm assuming now that I've lost a lot of blood because I can't even find the strength to open my eyes. I just feel bumping, pushing, and my throat is very dry. The odd thing is that my thoughts are coherent, I just can't speak and I don't understand what's going on around me. I don't mind it though, being shut off from the world, just for a little while. I know they will save me; they have to because I am the Mockingjay. Plus, Peeta will give up his own heart before he lets me die. I just hope he doesn't do that.

At this point my head is starting to ache like someone has thrown a brick at it multiple times and my entire body feels like it's on fire. I manage to let out a scream, for what I'm not sure. It's like my body is registering the pain and forcing me to react, but my mind isn't. Then I feel it. Something large and pointy is jabbed into my legs and arms and I quickly come to full consciousness. I see two people holding me down and two other people putting needles into my legs and arms, where I felt the pain. I pick up my head slightly and my eyes look around rapidly, and I finally realize that I am on my kitchen table. I know something has happened to me because I was conscious when it did and it wasn't too long ago, maybe five minutes. But I can't seem to remember anything because the drugs they've forced into my blood stream are making my eyelids heavier. Right before my eyes shut I look across the room and see Peeta, I give him a weak smile to let him know that I'll be okay, and then I drift off.

When my eyes shut, my memory becomes clearer and everything that has happened is replaying before me. "I'm cutting your wings Mockingjay," a voice from behind me says while I am braiding my hair in the bathroom mirror. The shadow that crept into my room grabs me from behind and starts to choke me. I can tell my attacker is a strong, older, man because of his deep voice and power over me. Then he injects tracker jacker venom into my chest, right below my heart, and it automatically paralyzes me. It must have been a strong dose or worse than tracker jacker venom because I remember the second he injected me, I became a string bean. "Snow didn't finish his mission, so we will," he whispers in my ear, slicing my throat with a small knife similar to Clove's. I lay on the floor, bleeding all that I am onto the tile; I am now becoming the victim of a murder. He still has his eyes locked on my quivering body; he isn't done with me yet. The slit in my throat wasn't deep because if it was I would have bled to death already. Even though I am in agony from the pain and my soon to be fatal death, I open my eyes slightly to the sight of a whip he is holding in his hands. This wasn't just an ordinary whip. It was a covered in thorns, certain to slaughter the Mockingjay. He brings the whip down on me, ripping through my side and possibly breaking my rib cage, not like I could really breathe anyway because of the hole in my throat. Then out of nowhere he stops the whipping and escapes through the window. At first I was confused as to why he didn't just finish me off, but then I saw Peeta standing above me, saving me once again, if I could be saved. Now that the whole situation has replayed through my head, my eyelids become lighter and all the pain that I couldn't remember feeling is coming back to me. I wake up to what I thought would be heaven, but instead Peeta's at my bedside, holding my hand. I may not be in heaven, but this was close enough.


	4. Chapter 2 Part 2 Peeta

**Chapter 2 (Part 2) Peeta's POV**

Every second that passed felt like days, and that's what became of the situation. I thought after that night that they could just stitch up the wounds, use all the best medicines, and that she'd be feeling better in a couple of days. But she never woke up, the days dragged on and on and I never left her side. I didn't even leave her side to go to the bakery. Everything had to be moldy, dusty, and eaten out by the rats at this point, but I didn't care because Katniss was my priority and I wasn't leaving until she woke up. The doctors said that she could be in a permanent coma or that she would wake up. They said that if she didn't wake up for a couple years, I would have to decide whether or not to pull the plug. I can't imagine her not waking up, so I don't. Haymitch visits occasionally, but I can tell that he is avoiding the thought of Katniss not waking up just as much as I am. I stay up all hours of the night, watching her breathe, and wondering what she is dreaming about. I'm hoping she's not having constant nightmares, because I can't wake her up from them. I don't sit down or rest until about 2 in the morning. The doctor suggested that I hire a 24 hour nurse to take care of Katniss, but I told him that I would do it. The first couple of weeks she had a nurse, until I learned how to work the feeding tube and about all the medication she needs. Every night I sit in the couch I've moved next to her bed and I hold her hand. Even though Katniss is in a coma, she always reacts to my touch. Whenever I slip my hand into hers, a finger moves or a muscle in her hand twitches. That spark between us is still there. Every morning when I wake up I give Katniss breakfast through her feeding tube and when it's finished I prop her up so that I can braid her hair. When I'm done I lay her back down and just wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. All I can do is wait.

I do the daily routine by giving her medicine through her feeding tube and I open up the blinds in her room so the moonlight can shine in. I go to the bathroom and ignore the floor where the image of Katniss' frail body, convulsing, always pops into my head. I wash cold water on my face and go back to the couch by her bedside. I get comfortable and slip my hand into hers as my eyes slowly close, fading my real world into a dream. I still have flashbacks and nightmares, but it's hard to even notice them anymore because all I can think about is Katniss. "Peeta," I see Katniss in front of me and in the blink of an eye she has her arms wrapped around me, "Hey, what are you doing here?" I say with unease in my voice. "I'm here because I'm waiting for you," she says with a genuine smile. "Why are you waiting for me Katniss?" I ask, but before she can answer she starts to disappear and this blank heaven like canvas turns into a woodsy landscape. I hear Katniss saying my name in a calm voice, echoing through the trees. I start to run around, looking in all directions, trying to find her. "Peeta, Peeta, Peeta," why does she keep repeating my name when she knows I'm right here?

I hear the birds chirping and I let out a slight groan because waking up from a dream like that was the last thing I wanted to do. I would have found her, not like it would do me any good because it was only a dream. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and something strikes me. I swear I was holding Katniss' hand and I rarely ever let go. When I pick my head up, she is right in my face and I am so taken back that I fall off the back of the small couch. At this point I'm sitting behind the couch because my mind is running wild. Is this another dream? "Peeta, why are you hiding behind the couch? You don't want to see me?" and once she said that I leaped up from behind the couch and walked over to the bed, sitting beside her. I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to believe or think. She was awake, my beautiful Katniss had finally woken up and it was like she was never asleep at all. I examine every single facial emotion she is expressing, taking it in. When she smiles, it feels like all the broken pieces in my chest are coming back together again. Katniss is finally here, she's here with me, and she's not kicking me out of the house. I close my eyes for a second, trying to avoid the rush of emotions in which cause my teary reaction. "Wait, Peeta, why are you crying?" I can hear the confusion in her voice. I suspect she has no clue how long she has been sleeping. "Because Katniss, this is the first time I've heard your voice or seen your smile in 4 months," I say. "4 months? What do you mean?" panic starts to grow in her voice, she continues "It's only been one night, don't you remember? I was attacked and then I fell asleep, last night and now I'm awake?" her breathing is heavier now, like she is going to have a panic attack so I place my hand on her cheek, trying to grab back her attention. "Katniss, you've been in a coma for 4 months," I say looking down at her hands, waiting for her to point me out the door. But to my surprise, she throws herself into my arms, holding so tightly as if I'm actually going to push her away. Then she does something else that I didn't expect at all, she leans up and kisses me softly on lips. The flutter in my chest lets me know that no matter what, we'll always have that spark. Now I just have to worry about who's trying to put it out.


	5. Chapter 3 Part 1 Peeta Continued

**Chapter 3 (Part 1) Peetas POV continued **

Her lips were cold and dry when they touched mine, but they sent a warm thirst through my veins. I wanted more. It had been so long since I had felt this spark between us. Our candle had never gone out like they planned. It just dimmed, but now it's regained its light and its heat. Katniss pulls away from me, breaking the kiss. "I'm sorry," she whispers softly, looking me straight in the eyes. I can see the ache in her heart just by looking at the broken sadness her eyes reveal. I don't know what she is saying sorry for, I just know that I'm not going to argue with her or force anything. "Katniss, you have nothing to be sorry for," but before I've even finished my sentence her breathing has grown heavy and she's looking around the room. She grabs my hand and squeezes it, staring at the floor with a mortified expression. "Katniss?" I say, trying to take back her attention, but I realize something more is wrong because her nose begins to bleed. I let go of her hand and rush to the phone, calling for a medic. When I hang up the phone, she starts to cry out my name. "Katniss I'm right here!" I say as calmly as I can. But she continues to cry for me until I hold her hand again and when I look into her eyes they are glossed over. I place my hand on her cheek trying to calm her down so I can figure out what's going on in her head "Don't let them take me away Peeta, please," she cries out. I wonder what she's seeing and why she's so afraid of someone taking her away; I would sacrifice myself before I ever let that happen. I make sure she knows that I will do everything in my power to never let that happen and she crawls into my arms. I don't reject her, I never could. The medics finally arrive and walk right into the house with their kits full of scopes and medications. I whisper to her that the medics are here to help her and it takes her a few minutes, but she finds the courage to free herself from my embrace. They check Katniss' pulse, blood pressure, eyes, and ears; they give her a normal checkup. I watch from the doorway of her bedroom and it pains me slightly that our kiss made her have a panic attack, but a meaningless child-like sticker gesture from a medic makes her smile.

A psychological doctor who showed up a few minutes after the medics pulls me out into the hallway and shuts the bedroom door. It makes me a little nervous leaving Katniss alone with the medics. It's not that I don't trust the medics, I don't trust Katniss. The state of mind she is in could make her do anything. The doctor looked a lot similar to Caesar Flickermann except his hair was brown instead of blue, and he wasn't questioning me about the star crossed lovers from district 12. Although, I have to admit that I liked Caesar better than this guy, at least he had the courtesy of looking me in the eyes when speaking to me. "Mr. Mellark, Katniss seems to have developed some problems while in she was in her coma that we couldn't see until now," he says to me, writing in his notepad. Just by the tone of his voice I could tell that Katniss' problems were far from small. "Like what?" I say angrily, and for a moment I feel bad, but then I realize I don't care because he's grinning and rolling his eyes. He found Katniss' pain funny. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if he had something against her and now I just want him to tell me what's wrong with her, and get out. "She developed vertigo while she was in a coma and because she has never had vertigo before, she gets scared. I'm assuming this is her first time experiencing it because she only woke up a little while ago. By the way, you should have called us immediately so we could evaluate her. Anyway, when she gets scared she hyperventilates," after he's done talking I think back on the situation, "So why was her nose bleeding?" I question. This guy doesn't know what he's talking about. How is it possible that Katniss has been through two arenas and a war, but when she has one experience with vertigo her nose bleeds? "Well Mr. Mellark, sometimes stress can make a person's nose bleed and we're assuming that's why. She was probably very confused and had an extreme headache," before I can interrogate him even further, he has picked up his stuff and left. The other medics then exit the room and tell me I can go back in, not like they could stop me. After I've let out the medics and thanked them for their services, I head back up to Katniss' room and sit on the bed next to her. "Is it true?" she asks me with a slight quiver in her voice, but she continues "You stayed by me this whole time?" All I do is nod my head and she leans up to kiss my cheek. It's different, her way of saying thank you, but I like it.


	6. Chapter 3 Part 2 Katniss

**Chapter 3 (Part 2) Katniss' POV **

It took me a couple weeks to get used to walking normal again because I had been in the same position for so long. I tried to avoid mirrors because even though it was nice to know I wasn't the same frail girl, starving in a broken home, I didn't look like myself. I had purple circles around my eyes and I gained about 20 pounds. Peeta said it was routine that we hold hands every night before I go to bed, but that was when I was in a coma. I'd rather have Peeta's entire body holding mine then just one part. "Peeta," I shake his hand which is laying softly in mine and his eyes flutter open, "hey" he says in a groggy tone. It takes Peeta a few moments to realize that the sun has not risen, "Is something wrong?" The worried, panic expression on his face finally sinks into my soul and lets me know that this is the right thing. This is what I need. I lean down, leaving an inch between my lips and his ear, "Come into bed with me." I whisper this with the least intention of something more than just holding each other, but somehow it comes out seductively. If it were anyone else they would have been on top of me already, trying to take my clothes off because Panem believes I'm the most desirable woman. But Peeta knows me too well, he knows what I mean. Without a moment of hesitation his hand slips out of mine and he walks to the other side of the bed and I hold up the blanket for him to get under. I can tell he's nervous by the way he moves his fingers through his hair and lets out a deep breath. When he gets under the covers, I move my body into his and lay my head against his chest. I never realized how beautiful his heart beat was until it stopped in the arena. I might even love his heart beat more than the sound of the mockingjays singing Rue's melody. Whenever we're in each other's arms we don't talk much, but that's only because we don't need to. This embrace is much stronger than words. Peeta's arms and chest are so warm and cozy that I start to doze off. Just as I am about to fall asleep, I feel Peeta kiss the top of my head and whisper, "I love you." I guess he thinks I'm asleep because he wouldn't say that without preparation and he wasn't at all prepared for me to invite him into bed. I don't think he expects me to say it back, so I don't. I just place the palm of my hand on his chest to let him know that I am here, to let him know I'm never leaving. My eyelids grow heavy and the world around me blurs into a dream. I am looking through the window of the bakery and I see Peeta and me baking together. Peeta is rolling some dough and I am frosting a whole plate of cupcakes, each one with a different design. The cupcake farthest from the rest of them has a flower frosted on it, a primrose. The other cupcakes have swirls, hearts, and one even has what looks like a cats face. All the designs were very minimalist and amateur, except for the cupcake with the primrose. Then I see Peeta, tilting up my chin slightly and pressing his lips to mine. I know I'm only watching from the window, but it's as if I can actually feel his tender kiss. I graze my fingers against my lips and grin at the thought of kissing him again, and again, and again. A light shining brightly in the bakery breaks my thoughts completely and once it fades, I am gone. It's just him baking, alone. The cupcake that once had a primrose on it is now burnt and all the ones I decorated with meaningless symbols, now have my face on them. I look up and realize the bright blue sky above me has turned into a dark gray and the singing birds that flew so happily from tree to tree have gone quiet.

Once I saw the dark clouds, I knew my world was turning into something horrible. I press my hand on the glass window, let the tears fall from my eyes, I let myself break. I don't care if anyone is watching anymore, because as the Mockingjay I've shown the world everything; everything but vulnerability. My hand slips from the window as I fall to the ground, sobbing into my hands that suddenly had "pain" and "regret" carved into each one. How could I let those bombs take my beautiful little sister away? Why couldn't I get to her in time? And why did I ignore Peeta for so long when all he's ever done was save, protect, and love me? All I've done is let this cruel world take Prim and I've nearly killed Peeta by giving him a broken heart. I have become one of the monstrous humans that I've been loathing my entire life. I feel the ground shake and hear an explosion coming from behind me. I turn around to see the parachutes falling from the sky, turning the bakery into a giant fireball. I begin to scream for Peeta as I run up the front steps of the burning building and try to open the door, shaking the knob like my life depended on it. Peeta's life depended on it. Peeta was all the life I had left. The door doesn't budge, but as I continue to scream it disappears and Peeta is still rolling the dough."I could use a hand," he says in a soft, calm tone with that handsome grin that always seems to pull me in to even the most dangerous of situations. I ignore the fire and join him. He wraps his arms around me from behind and teaches me how to roll the dough properly, grazing his soft hands over mine. I grow less interested in the dough and more interested in his unique touch that sends a fluttery feeling through every part of my being. I turn around slyly and look straight into his sea blue eyes, I get lost in them; so lost that it takes me about fifteen seconds to realize that the burning bakery was gone and that I had wings. I lay my head against his chest as we stand here, folded into each other so perfectly. Once I close my eyes, they are opened again by the sunlight and I find myself still in Peeta's arms. I fought a nightmare. I couldn't believe that for the first time I gave one of my nightmares a beautiful ending. I adjust my body so that I can see his face, "Peeta," I whisper into his ear, "I love you too."

Peeta eventually wakes up and goes downstairs to make us breakfast. I wonder if he heard me or pretended not to, just like I had done with him. A scream from downstairs and a gunshot immediately wipe the smile off my face and put me into panic mode. Is the shadow back? Fear clouds all my rational thoughts. Must. Save. Peeta. I finally think to myself as I shove the door open to the smell of something burning and a pile of smoke. There is so much smoke and fire that it is hard to see or breathe, but I find the strength to call his name. I find him lying on the ground as he pulls a sword out of his leg. Thankfully, it was the fake leg that Peeta had to get due to the first Hunger Games we took part in. Whoever attacked us was too stupid to remember that Peeta had lost his real leg, they obviously didn't do their research. "Peeta, are you okay?" I say picking him up slightly and holding him against me, "Yeah I got em, right in the shoulder blade," he says with a confident grin as he drops the small gun to the floor. I kiss his forehead and hold him close to me. Maybe Peeta and I aren't as safe as we thought we were, and maybe the games aren't really over.


	7. Chapter 4 Part 1 Peeta

**Chapter 4 Part 1 (Peeta's POV)**

When she picked up the phone I could hear the pain in her voice. After Prim died, she couldn't handle it anymore and she moved to District 2 with Gale. Ever since the day she left, she hasn't sent any letters, she hasn't called; she hasn't tried communicating with Katniss in any way. Katniss hardly ever shows her fear or pain, but I know it's in there. I talk to Mrs. Everdeen on the phone for about twenty minutes and I tell her everything that has happened with the attacks. Immediately she insists that Katniss and I come to District 2 and stay with her until everything is sorted out and we are safe again. It was strange and unfamiliar how urgent her voice was when she invited us to her home. She had finally realized that Katniss was all she had left and that she couldn't let it go to waste because of something horrible that was out of everyone's control. "Alright, we'll be there by tomorrow night," I say quietly into the phone because now Katniss has entered the kitchen slyly and I'm afraid to break the news to her. She isn't going to like how I planned all of this without her permission, but it is for her own safety. "So where will we be tomorrow night?" she says with a grin as she sits in the chair right next to me. The smile on her face makes me feel completely guilty because I know she is expecting something wonderful. Maybe she thinks I've set up something romantic. I grab both her hands and put them between mine, kissing them softly. "Katniss, we're moving to District 2. We're moving in with your mom," before I could even finish my sentence her hands have slipped out from between mine and she is heading for the door. I get up and catch up to her, blocking her exit," I'm doing this for YOUR safety!" I say in a stern tone so she knows that I am truly doing this for her and not for the sake of her relationship with her mother. She looks at me for a moment with a blank expression and I can't seem to read how she feels because she seemed angry a moment ago, but now she is sitting on the couch by the door. Her face is now resting gently in her palms, but I can see her body shuddering like she is going to have a panic attack. I sit beside her on the couch and pull her into my arms. Once she is lying safely against my chest, she lets out all the demons that have been eating her inside. She starts talking about how Prim's death was her fault, how she missed her father, how her mother never showed her the love she needed when he died, how Rue's whistle appears in every one of her nightmares, how Annie's son will never have a father because of the war she started. I don't say anything in response. I don't try to convince her that everything happened for a reason and that because of her no more children will die in vain. I just let her say how she feels because one day she will realize that it wasn't her fault and that she changed Panem for the better.

I let Katniss fall asleep on the couch as I go upstairs and pack her things because the train leaves in an hour. While looking through her drawer I find the pearl I gave to her, safely wrapped up and hidden. I know she won't notice it's gone with the state she's in, so I slip it in to my pocket. I want to marry her without any cameras around, without all the publicity. I want it to be real. Once we get to District 2 I will find someone who can make this pearl into a ring and I will propose to her, with her mother's permission of course. The thought of Katniss in a wedding dress reminds me of Cinna and the pain it will bring her to wear a creation that isn't his. It makes think me of Prim and how she'll never be able to see her beautiful sister walk down the aisle with her father; her father, Mr. Everdeen, who will never be able to hand her off to me properly. Who will be the ring bearer? My brothers are dead. My whole family is dead. My father won't be able to see me marry the girl of my dreams, the girl I've been thinking about since I was young. I close my eyes and grab onto the drawer, I imagine my father in the bakery that is burning from the bomb, and he's holding my mother in his arms. I notice that there is no way out of the bakery because the fire has caused parts of the roof to fall in front of all exits. I see tears on my mother's face for the first time as she clings to my father's chest and I see my father looking across the room at a picture of me hung up on the wall. His lips are whispering something, but I can't hear or read them. I start to scream to him, "Dad! What? What is it?" a frustration stirs in me and a fire builds in my chest, burning through my shirt. I want to run to him, but my feet don't move and I begin to claw at my chest as it burns every bit of me away. I am still screaming for him as I fall to the ground. I give up on trying to walk and begin digging my nails into the dirt, dragging myself to the burning bakery. I am almost there when a fog covers everything in my sight and I'm back in Katniss' room. I look in front of me and see the dresser that held the drawer I gripped had practically been destroyed, and when I look down at my hands they are bloody. I feel Katniss holding me in her arms, swaying me back and forth and singing to me as she caresses my face with her hand. She didn't leave me. She stayed.

I let her know that I am awake and she releases me from her arms. "Your hands, they're bleeding," she says in a shaken voice and as she is getting up to retrieve a towel from the bathroom, I grab her arm gently and pull her back to me. I kiss her so deeply that when a knock at the front door breaks us apart, we are both in a daze. We had never kissed that deeply before and we were both craving for more, but this wasn't the time. Right before she leaves the room to go answer the door she whispers "You're welcome," with a smile so radiant it puts the sun to shame. I hadn't seen her smile like that in a long time and it makes me think that maybe we will be all right after all.


	8. Chapter 4 Part 2 Katniss

**Chapter 4 Part 2 (Katniss' POV)**

As I'm walking down the stairs to go answer the door Peeta and I's kiss runs through my mind and I feel my lips with the tips of my fingers. There's something special about the kisses Peeta and I have because they leave my lips tingling for the longest time. I open the door and see Haymitch in one of the chairs that sits on the porch. I expect him to greet me with the normal "Hey sweetheart," but he gives me the cold shoulder and I think I know why. "You're coming with us right?" I ask, sort of like an invitation. I don't know where he will stay because my mom isn't expecting his arrival, but I refuse to leave him here all by himself. The attackers know my association with him and if Peeta and I are gone, he's the first person they will go after. Haymitch gives me this grin that has hints of sadness in it and I do something I've never done before, I embrace him like he is a child that needs love because in reality, he is. Snow killed his entire family; he's been alone a majority of his life. A part of me wishes he would just break down and cry into my arms so he could release all the pain he is feeling, but he would never let Snow have that vulnerable part of him. "Are you packed Haymitch?" Peeta asks from behind, startling me at first. Haymitch picks up his suitcase from underneath the chair, waving it to Peeta like both of them already knew he was going. Peeta has both of our suitcases held tightly in his grasp because they contain important pieces of our lives inside them.

We all start walking towards the train station and I realize that I am not the only one looking back. I say my last goodbye to a home I hardly knew, a home I had hardly any memories with because I know it might not be here if we ever come back to District 12. It seemed harder for Peeta because he had to grasp the thought of never seeing his beloved family's bakery ever again that he rebuilt. Peeta stops for a moment and looks down at the ground and he looks like he is about to have a flashback, a painful one that involves the burning of the bakery and my teeth being covered in blood. Before he begins to shudder from the horrifying scenes playing in his head, Haymitch puts his arm around Peeta and encourages him to walk forward. I slip my hand down the inside of his arm and into his hand, entwining our fingers. We've come to realize that the best way to help Peeta through these flashbacks was to show him comfort and affection, something he never had as a child.

When we arrive on the train it is late and we decide to just go straight to sleep. Peeta and I decide to sleep in the same bed, as usual. I slip under the covers and get comfortable in his arms. His heart beat is the melody that brings me to fall asleep and then I hear Prim's gentle voice begin to sing a tune so familiar that I want to sing along. But now I am in the woods and the woods only bring danger. "Are you coming, are you coming to the tree," Prim continues to sing, but each time she says that single line her voice gets louder. The comforting feeling her angelic whisper gave me a moment ago disappears when she begins screaming, "ARE YOU COMING, ARE YOU COMING TO THE TREE." I run through the woods trying to follow her screams, trying to figure out where she is. Once I feel like I am about to reach her I hear another voice screaming my name and it is Rue's. With both of them screaming at the same time, I can't panic, I can't give up. I have to find them.

As I am running I feel as though someone is following me and when I turn around my fears become true. I see Cato transformed into a mutt. I know it's him because I can see all his memories playing through his eyes like a movie. I see his father who looks exactly like him, his mother telling him it will be okay as she lay in a hospital bed with IVs in her arms and visions of Clove with blood spilling from her mouth. I shake my head and come back to reality. He's done this to distract me while he rips apart my insides with his teeth that are as sharp as knives. I hear Rue's scream once more until it is cut short and a drip of blood lands on my forehead causing me to look up. I see Rue hung by the neck at the top of the tree. When I look back at Cato he is about to attack, but I jet for the tree and begin to climb. I climb with every bit of energy I have left in me, making it impossible for Cato's mutt paws to catch up. I grab each branch like I did the grass when Clove was on top of me with a knife to my throat; weak, but determined; determined to live. I hear Prim again. Her voice that was once a painful scream has become a scared whimper. My eyes are directed to the branch across the one Rue is hung from and I see Prim with a rope around her neck.

White rose vines begin to grow through the tree, tying my hands up so I can't go any further. I try to break free, but every time I move a sharp thorn inches its way out of the vine and into my hand. The pain is extreme, but bearable when it comes to saving Prim. I break free from the rose vines and climb up the tree as Mockingjay's start to attack my neck just as the other birds did Maysilee Donner's in The Second Quarter Quell. By the time I get to Snow he releases Prim and her blood drips as thick as Rue's. I pull out a knife from my back pocket and shove it in Snow's neck, but he pushes me off the branch and I fall. I fall and fall and fall. I continue to fall until the sight of Rue and Prim's dangling bodies disappear. I finally hit concrete and find myself underneath Gale. I think that I am safe, until I realize that he has a knife to my throat. "Want to blow lover boy one last kiss?" he says looking to Peeta who is tied up by the arms and legs, waiting to be hung just like Prim and Rue. "But Gale," I say with tears in my eyes as he stabs me in the chest with the knife and cuts out my heart, feeding it to the mutts. I don't feel the pain. I only feel every bit of love I ever had escaping me. Gale's face transforms into a mutt as the blood drips from my chest, a mutt with breath that smells of bloody roses. "Oh my dear Ms. Everdeen, I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other," but this is not Gale's voice.

Once Snow's face comes to light in the Mutts eyes, mine spring open. I am shaking and it is hard to breathe, but I am awake. It was only a nightmare. Peeta has me wrapped in his arms and when he sees my eyes open he gives a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry I couldn't wake you," he says wiping the sweat and tears from my face with the blanket. "It's fine," I say softly. I can still feel my body shaking uncontrollably in fear of not only my nightmare, but also the fact that the train has stopped. "Why did we stop?" I say propping myself up against the backboard of the bed, alerting myself for a possible attack coming from outside. "Because someone has made train hopping a new hobby," Peeta says with a grin as the door to our room opens slowly. Everything inside me stirs; I haven't felt this happy in a while. Without second guessing I jump from my bed and run into his arms. He is here and alive, I keep repeating in my head. Cinna is here and alive.


End file.
